A Pregnant Pause
by Polexxia
Summary: Lily undergoes various stresses during her pregnancy with Harry


TITLE: A Pregnant Pause

AUTHOR: Marie Braden

E-MAIL: polexxia@polexxia.com

SUMMARY: Lily Potter's pregnancy

RATING: G. 

DISCLAIMER: J.K. Rowling owns all the good parts, and I alone am responsible for the suckiness.

DEDICATIONS:  To Richard Schumaker, whose class this was written for.

            The sun shone brightly as Lily Potter absorbed the news from her doctor. _I can't wait to tell James**, **_she thought, as she ran her hand across her stomach. Then another thought crossed her mind. _Voldemort._ No, this wasn't the best time to be bringing a new life into her world, but Lily wasn't about to let that kill her joy.

            The phone shrilled, and Lily answered absent-mindedly, to find her sister Petunia Dursley on the line. The two sisters were completely unalike, Petunia being very self-centered and materialistic. Lily counted flowers on the wallpaper as Petunia yammered on and on about her husband Vernon, and how he was "a real up-and-comer, not like that layabout you married, Lily. Oh it's a shame, having someone like that in our family. Can't you just give up this magic stuff and come **home?**"

            Lily had heard the same spiel hundreds of times from her sister, and held the phone away from her ear until a word squawked out at her. "Baby." _Baby?_Lily held the phone close again, and listened as Petunia shared her own good news. _How funny, we're both pregnant at the same time. She has nothing to worry about, and I'm scared for my life._ Lily savoured the irony for just a moment before making the appropriately congratulatory noises to her sister. She wanted to share her own news, but figured now was simply not the time. For one thing, Petunia might think that she was trying to "steal the thunder". For another, with Voldemort on the loose, who knew what would happen between now and the birth?

            Conversation over, Lily waited expectantly for James to get home. As she heard his car in the driveway, she couldn't help but feel the usual leap in her heart at knowing he was home. Lily missed her family in theory, but never regretted for a moment that she had chosen the wizarding world and James over a convenient life in suburbia. And, now, a baby! The news she was to share made her almost giddy.

            James came in the door, awkwardly clutching a bag as he saw Lily sitting on the couch. He saw the tearstains on her face, and immediately dropped everything to rush to her side. "Honey, what's wrong?"

            "Nothing's wrong, darling. I talked to Petunia today. And to the doctor. And we're going to have a baby. I know this isn't the best time for it, but… it's happened now, so there's not much we can…" Lily was silenced as James swooped her up in an energetic embrace.

            "Darling, that's **wonderful** news! I can't wait. Have you told anyone yet? How far along? Do you want to go to a Diviner? Do you prefer Muggle medicine for this? Oh, Albus will be so thrilled! Sirius, too!" James babbled, almost incoherently, then realized that there were still tracks of tears on Lily's face. "Please tell me those are tears of joy, my love?"

            "Oh, I'm happy James, but I'm scared. Voldemort is getting stronger. You know it's only a matter of time for us. And bringing a child into this… I just don't know anything anymore."

            James stroked her head as she cried softly into his shoulder, knowing that she had a valid point, and, yet, still too excited over the news to be able to comfort her properly.

****

            The months passed, and Lily calmed down, although she had developed a habit of looking over her shoulder and protectively stroking her stomach that James found incredibly endearing.

            Voldemort's circle of influence was increasing, and James came home looking more tired every day. Lily tried to keep his spirits up, but there were days when it seemed impossible, and her thoughts occasionally drifted to the Muggle world in which she'd been raised. 

            It was particularly bad one afternoon when she was sitting in the mediwizard's office and Narcissa Malfoy strode in. An icy blonde with a perpetual sneer, she, too, was in the late stages of pregnancy and glanced disdainfully over at Lily, sitting there in a cotton jumper and comfortable sandals.

            "Nice outfit, Potter. Is that what Mudbloods generally wear when they're pregnant? Why not just wear a proper robe and be done with it? Or are you considering running away? I suppose I would, too, if I were married to a spineless nothing like your James."

            "Spineless? Just because he's not a clutching opportunist like Lucius, Narcissa?" Lily asked wearily. She and Narcissa had not gotten along at school, and didn't now, especially since the Malfoys had sworn allegiance to Lord Voldemort. The Potters had decided to stand firm against him and his Death Eaters, but it tore Lily apart seeing the evil flourishing around her. The wizarding world had been like a paradise to her before Voldemort's rise to power, and though she hated to admit it, she was tempted frequently to pack it in and go home.

            It was only her love for James that stopped her from doing so, so when Narcissa made her well placed jab, it struck home like a poisoned arrow to the heart. It was in that moment that she realized she WOULD stay with James. Not just for the child within her, but because it was the right thing to do. More than that, she would encourage him to take an even firmer stand against the depredations of Voldemort and his minions.

****

            The car was full as they drove back from the hospital, Lily having decided at the last moment that she preferred traveling "Muggle-style" as she clutched her newborn in her arms. James couldn't wipe the smile off of his face as he and Sirius Black, the babe's godfather, traded gibes back and forth.

            All smiles vanished as they pulled up to the house, however, and saw the hovering green skull in the air. 

            "His mark. Typical." snorted Sirius. "Can't stand for people to have a happy moment, you know he and his chose this time on purpose." Lily clutched young Harry even tighter as she choked on a sob. 

            The last month had been particularly difficult for her, as Voldemort's harassment of the Potters had increased. For some reason, he seemed to take their disinterest in going over to the Dark Side as a personal affront, and he and his Death Eaters took every opportunity to make things more difficult. It had started with James losing his job, and only accelerated from there. Thankfully, the Potters had enough money stashed away that unemployment wasn't a major issue, but it made for tense moments, especially when Petunia would call up, nattering on about her precious Vernon.

            James stopped the car abruptly. He turned around in his seat to face Lily. He reached out, softly touched her face. "Don't you realize, angel, that right there in your arms is what we're fighting for? That baby you're holding. The concept of love, right, HONOUR. That's what it's all about. Yes, sometimes the price is high, but imagine how much worse it would be if we didn't?"

            Into Lily's silence, James continued, "I know this world, the wizarding world, can be cruel sometimes. But it's people like you and me that can help change that. No, we can't do anything about garden-variety cruelness like the Malfoys are so good at. But we can raise this boy—our son—to be everything that a GOOD wizard should be. We'll raise him right or die trying. And I don't say that lightly. It could happen. But isn't it better to fight for what's right, even if we fail, than to be wrong and have to look into those eyes and know we sold out his birthright?"

            Sirius coughed from the backseat, breaking the moment. "Prongs, ole man, I couldn't have said it better. And, you know, Lily, you're not alone here. None of us are. That's what Voldemort wants, for all of us to feel alone, isolated, disconnected. But right there in your arms is the one thing that proves all of that to be a lie."

            Lily looked down, caressed the sleeping infant's head, and said, "Maybe you're right. Maybe love is the one power that can stand against him. It won't be easy, though, will it?"

            James and Sirius could do nothing but agree.


End file.
